I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
