"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sext me about skeletons
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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