this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
