ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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