i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
