Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
