Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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