Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
