His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
