I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Found the puke drawer
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Im part way to drunk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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