I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
