Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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