I wannas sexs uuuuu
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
