dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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