I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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