She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
