Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
3 2 1 whiskey
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
