I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
