when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
