dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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