; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
