I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
