Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
