I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize