well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
