remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sext me about skeletons
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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