If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
