If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How external is "for external use only"?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
