What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
birth control should be required to get into college
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
