Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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