I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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