Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
