He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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