He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
