What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
