dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
