Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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