its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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