Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
As shirtless as possible
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
