So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
