Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize