there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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