If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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