he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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