so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
And then he peed in my hair
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
