That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
