He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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