thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
