I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
