i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
