I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
