How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
