she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Randomize
