then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
