she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
