they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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