WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
