Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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