a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
