I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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