am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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