my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
