let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
