I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
