what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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