Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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