hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
