She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
