He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
