Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Randomize
