They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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