It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
