Can i not drive my cunt home
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
