i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
