ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
wow bdsm is so cute
A bitchslap is in order.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
