none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
